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The Comedy Wire
Comments in yellow...
Thursday, Iowa Caucus voters turned out in record numbers to prove they
weren't impressed by money or privilege, opting for the candidate of "change" in
both parties. On the Democratic side, Barack Obama took 37.5 percent, with
Hillary Clinton slightly behind John Edwards with just under 30 percent each.
Hillary had presented herself as the inevitable winner, but Obama beat her in
every demographic except women over 60, who told pollsters they want to see a
woman president before they die.
* Obama's success proved that America already has a
female leader: Oprah.
On the Republican side, the predicted squeaker between Mike Huckabee and Mitt
Romney wasn't even close. Huckabee trounced Romney 34-25 percent, despite
Romney outspending him 20-1. Romney spent $7 million on ads in Iowa, and got
28,367 votes, which
means each vote cost him $246.77.
* Mike Huckabee could buy two suits for that much money.
Britain's Travelodge motel chain released a list of the oddest items that
forgetful guests had left behind in their rooms in 2007. Among them: false
teeth, sex toys, a suitcase full of diamond jewelry, a $24,000 (US) necklace, a
pet cat, an urn of cremated ashes, a glass eye, the keys to a Bentley,
prosthetic limbs, a 6x6-foot remote control model helicopter, a lucky charm
Buddha that the guest returned from Dubai to collect because he was having bad
luck ... and a small child.
* Britney Spears left that.
* Actually, all of these things were left in one room by Michael Jackson.
Some Purdue University students have taken on an unusual after-school job:
sniffing livestock feces. Agricultural engineering Prof. Albert Heber is
studying ways to improve methods for estimating a farm's odor emissions, so he
is paying students $30 per session to smell samples taken from barns full of
hogs, cows or chickens to see how well various odor-fighting methods work. He
said if the smell has to be diluted 1,000 times to be undetectable, "that's a
pretty strong odor," but he's had samples that had to be diluted 10,000 times.
* Taking a job sniffing bullshit also earns you credit
toward a political science degree.
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