The Virgin and the Gypsy (1970)

This a film based on a lesser-known D.H. Lawrence novella, as translated to a screenplay by Alan Plater, and directed by Christopher Miles, the older brother of actress Sarah Miles. Although all but forgotten now, and not well-respected (5.6 at IMDb), this film was then deemed worthy of a Golden Globe nomination (Best English-Language Foreign Film).

The Plater and Miles team was especially interested in D.H. Lawrence, having also scripted and directed Priest of Love, an early-80s Lawrence biopic which starred Magneto.

For our purposes, the key point is that The Virgin and the Gypsy features ol' Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman) nekkid as a jaybird, albeit a jaybird photographed from behind.

Honor Blackman

Here's the 8-second film clip. (Zipped .wmv)

Other Crap:

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

Second Time Lucky (1984)

Second Time Lucky (1984) is a rather silly film made in New Zealand, based on the premise that Satan convinces God to start over with Adam and Eve, but this time, for winner take all. Gabriel is assigned to assist (but not interfere with) Adam Smith (Roger Wilson), a nerdish college student. Eve is played brilliantly by Diane Franklin. The two meet rather badly at a frat house party. Next thing you know, Gabriel rushes Adam off to the Garden of Eden on a motorcycle, where he encounters a completely naked Eve. Satan wins round one when Eve eats the apple, then gets Adam to do the same.

Round two is fought in ancient Rome, where Adam is a victorious officer, and Eve is engaged to Caesar. Caesar doesn't take kindly to finding Adam on his marriage bed with a topless Eve. God picks the venue for round three, the great war (WW I), with Adam as an RAF Lieutenant and Eve as a French nurse and enemy agent. We then move to 1920s USA with Eve as a blonde floozy who rats out the mob to detective Adam. The last round is fought in the present. Satan is a rock promoter, and offers Eve to popular singer Adam, if Adam will sign with him and sing his material.

The story line required Diane Franklin to essentially play 5 different women, and she was equal to the task. Roger Wilson didn't do nearly as well, nor did Jon Gadsby as Gabriel. God was played by Robert Morley.

Diane Franklin, clearly the only highlight of this comedy, showed all three Bs. There are also assorted naked women at the frat party, and again in Rome.

IMDb readers have this at 4.2. Scoopy awarded an E, pointing out that, once the two are expelled from Eden, there is not much left worth watching. I disagree. Franklin rose above the bad material, and is worth watching in each major segment. Her blonde 1920s bimbo was excellent. I would call this a low C-, and Franklin fans will enjoy ports of it. I do suggest that you keep the remote on hand for fast forward, however.

Diane Franklin

unknowns

• Indira Varma as Niobe: serious pokies, probably caused by the fabric she's wearing.
• Kerry Condon as Octavia: one breast in bed with her brother.
• Lindsay Duncan as Servilia: breasts and top of buns during the reprisal attack, shot from a distance. Possibly a body double, possibly not, you be the judge. Keep in mind that a search in the back issues informs us that Lindsay was naked in 1989's Traffik (highly marked by Tuna in his review) and sexy in 2003's Under The Tuscan Sun.

A quick and easy post today.  Here a mess of Pets, Penthouse variety, who made their collective way into
movies.  All of these are the work of brother Tuna, with a little after-market work by moi.  Most of them
came from the Citizen Kane of lesbian reality show parodies, Survivors Exmposed, which holds the record
for greatest number of former Pets in a movie (5). 
 

Aimee Sweet	Alexus Winston	Alexus Winston	Aria Giovanni	Donna Barnes	Julie K Smith
Sandra Taylor	Sandra Taylor			Shauna O'Brien	Shauna O'Brien

Starting in February, the downtown library in Dallas, Texas, will start banning people who smell really bad.  They'll also ban sleeping, eating, loud talking, fighting, bare feet, washing and having sex.  Crowds of homeless people in downtown Dallas have practically moved into the library.  Charity groups denounced the ban, saying that with a shortage of facilities, the homeless need libraries.  But officials say regular users are fed up with the smelly, dangerous atmosphere.  They added that librarians will decide  fairly, on a case-by-case basis, who stinks badly enough to be kicked out.


*  This is the only library that spends more on potpourri than books.


Moviemistakes.com has declared "King Kong" the king of goofs.  So far, alert viewers have spotted 40 blunders in the three-hour film.  Among them: mud magically disappears from Naomi Watts' dress, food changes positions on a table; a bullet wound on Kong's chest disappears; and Kong tears up a New York street that an instant later is pristine, with all the cars parked neatly.

 *  That's the most glaring blunder in the movie: where is there a street
like that in New York?!


A study by three business professors at New York University found a link between Hollywood hits and fast food.  It turns out U.S. movies have higher box office returns in countries that have more McDonald's outlets.  They assumed that the number of McDonald's in a nation indicates the level of "Americanization," so maybe that's why American movies do better there.

*  So if people like sugary, processed products that have lots of filler and are promoted by clowns, they'll love Hollywood movies.