Friday

Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

Attack from Mars (1988) is strictly in the bad movie genre. It is rated 2.8 of 10 at IMDB. Odd people (nerds, fat lady, woman in petticoats, couples, hoods, etc) arrive for a midnight feature at a theater in the 50s. The movie is an episode of Space Patrol, which has some time travelers coming back to the present. Also, there is a Martian monster loose in the theater killing people. Before this is over, everyone appears in both the movie within the movie, and the film itself. They made no effort at all to keep the three plots separate.

The exposure comes from Tamara Sue Hill as a fantasy girl to one of the nerds. She shows buns, after cleavage and bra shots. The highlight of the film is the bad dialogue, however, with lines like:

"Oh darlin', the one-eyed muff torpedo wants to go to tunaland tonight."

"My Dick's harder than Chinese arithmetic."

And in response to being told by his girlfriend that she is having her period:

"You bleed more than a hemophiliac in a briar patch."

Is it a good movie? Anything but! The key question here is, is it entertaining. As a lover of really bad movies, I have to say yes. As a sci-fi or horror, it is an F, but as a "Bad Movie," it is a four star C.

• Thumbnails

• Tamara Sue Hill (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Dr. T. and the Women (2000) was covered by Scoopy when it was released. He hit the plot high and low points, and didn't understand the ending at all. I didn't either until I listened to the commentary. Seems writer Anne Rapp, herself a member of the Dallas country club set, patterned the film after the biblical story of Job. As you may recall, Job had everything, wife, family, land, etc, and worshiped God. The Devil bet God that if he took everything away from Job, he would lose his faith. After everything was taken from him, he was swept away in a whirlwind, and dumped in the desert. He asked God why this had all happened to him, and God answered that life was not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be explored.

This somewhat explains the surrealistic ending of the film. As to what the film is really about, Altman wanted to call the film "Pussy" as it was about a man who was totally pussy-whipped. Richard Gere is a gynecologist to the Dallas elite, has a wife who is withdrawing into herself, two daughters, a sister in law with three daughters who has moved in with him, an attractive female golf pro at the club, and all of his staff and patients. He has always worshiped women, and is a genuine nice guy, but suddenly his world falls apart.

Nudity Summary

• Farrah Fawcett nude in a fountain
• Helen Hunt nude getting into the shower (long shot) and topless getting into bed
• Holly Pellham breast while being examined
• Janine Turner possible crotch shot and most of her buns after examination

• Thumbnails

• Farrah Fawcett (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
• Helen Hunt (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Holly Pellham (1, 2)
• Janine Turner (1, 2)

Here is the trailer for A Simian Line. Quick time format, Hi-Res, Streaming Here's the IMDB link. Most important, here's Cindy

Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger must be the all-time record holder for most nudity in a G-rated film.

• Jane Seymour  (1, 2, 3)
• Taryn Power (1, 2)

DEAR SCOOP

OK, this has nothing to do with naked women, but most people look upon it in awe.

Letter from a reader:

The image is a panoramic view of the world from the new space station.  It is a night photo with  the lights clearly indicating the populated areas. You can scroll East-West and North-South.Note  that Canada's population is almost exclusively along the U.S. border. Moving east to Europe, there is a high  population concentration along the Mediterranean Coast. It's easy to spot London,  Paris, Stockholm and Vienna. Check out the development of Israel compared to the rest of the Middle East. Note the Nile River and the  rest of the "Dark Continent". After the Nile, the lights don't come on again until Johannesburg. Look at the Australian Outback and the  Trans-Siberian Rail Route. Moving east, the most striking observation is the difference between North and  South Korea. Note the density of  Japan.

What a piece of photography. It is an absolutely awesome picture of the Earth taken from the Boeing built Space Station last November, 2000 on a perfect night with no obscuring atmospheric conditions.

Click here. This is really a sight to behold

These are scans of former Hefmag of the month and of the year, Victoria Silvstedt as seen in December's issues of Interviu (the first three scans) and of DT (the last one).

Love it when former Hegmag babes show up in other forums cuz then we run them puppies in the Funhouse. And Victoria does stay busy, with her own calendar and lay-outs in every publication except Boy's Life. She's been in at least one movie, too: the rich and hilarious but terminally tasteless Basketball. Then there is this item: get on the web and look up Miss Universe contestants. You will find for 1993, Miss Sweden was second or third runner-up for the crown and her name was.... Victoria Silvstedt. Help! Does the amazingly well-informed readership out there know if this is the one and same Victoria S? Have never heard her speak a word and I am the first to admit I do not read the drivel published in the famous Chicago-based publication, so I remain agnostic on the question. Okay, now relevant to the scans: good ol' Vic is sho 'nuff beautiful, robohooters and all; and Interviu is my pick as the finest celebrity nude magazine, especially if you like Spanish babes.

• Victoria Silvstedt (1, 2, 3, 4)

Other babes of the domestic variety include Jill Hennessy, clothed as usual but sexy, Landon Hall, unclothed as usual and sexy and Shirley Manson in a major upskirt from the cover of Blah.

• Jill Hennessy
• Landon Hall
• Shirley Manson

Page 3 babes of yesteryear include a bunch of J's, namely Jo Philips and Judith Jaeger (scans from one of my favorite layouts of all time).

• Jo Philips (1, 2)
• Judith Jaeger (1, 2, 3)

Pet of the day is from Penthouse of July 1976, Helen Lang. Ms. Lang has appeared previously in the Funhouse as a naked cheerleader who seeks revenge in the aptly titled Revenge of the Cheerleaders (1976).

• Helen Lang

All "Hankster Lite" stuff today with continued coverage of the Skinemax flick "Bare Deceptions"

• Angela Grant. Topless in all, plus full frontal views in #1. (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Tane McClure, plenty of robo-hooter action. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

The latest Pam Anderson news...

Pat Reeder
The Comedy Wire

>NOW that Pamela Anderson is battling her ex, Tommy Lee, for custody of their two sons, she is toning down her red-hot media coverage - at least in the United States. The former Playmate has done a raunchy spread for the United Kingdom version of Maxim. But readers of American Maxim will not get to see Pam bending down in roller skates with her underwear falling off. In the interview, Anderson says she calls her current lover, Kid Rock, "Big Bob," and that the "other men" in her life have been big disappointments in bed. Tommy, say it ain't so.

From IMDb News...

The second item e is basically a reiteration of an earlier story, a personal declaration from Shannon Elizabeth that I expect to last about six months or until she only starts getting offers to play bit parts as receptionists in Lifetime disease-of-the-week movies, whichever comes first. First, Pam Anderson tries to morph into June Cleaver, now this. Come on, Shannon, you posed for Playboy! It's a bit late to get modest now! Unless you've got some body part we haven't seen already, and if so, I'll bet the medical researchers at Johns Hopkins would like to hear about it...

Pat Reeder
The Comedy Wire