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MAILBOX
Uncle
Scoopy
I
have been a loyal member
of your site for over a
year now, and frequently
prior to that. I
remember a movie called
Zuppa di pesce from
1992. There is a
wonderful shower scene,
and later a scene with
her drunk on the beach
swimming and then having
sex. I have
enjoyed Chiara Caselli's
petite body and
especially her breasts,
small with small
areolas. I would
love to see these clips
again. Do you know
where to find
them? These clips
are by far the best nude
clips she ever
did. I so hope you
can find them!!!
S
============
Scoop's note:
Gold star for you! Great
scenes. Unfortunately,
the film only seems to
be available on video
tape, but even that
looks pretty good. Here
are the scenes
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* Yellow
asterisk:
funny (maybe).
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*
White
asterisk:
expanded
format.
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* Blue
asterisk: not
mine.
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No
asterisk: it
probably
sucks.
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OTHER
CRAP:
Catch
the deluxe
version of
Other Crap in
real time,
with all the
bells and
whistles, here.
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NoAngels.com
2000
Happy Holidays. Thought
it time to wrap up a long
project.
The video is called
NoAngels.com and it is a faux
documentary of a bunch of
comely lasses getting together
to start a softcore nekkid
website. Throughout the video
they maintain the fiction of a
documentary by showing us that
other cameras are filming the
same scene and by doing the
interview thing. No
problem with that because, in
the end, you more than sorta
get what you came for in this
fine, fine cinematic
achievement. There are
nekkid gals, more than a dozen
of em, and they get nekkid for
minutes on end.
The five stars of the show
include some veterans and two
newcomers. Two of the
veterans are Nicole Martiano
(aka Nicole Marciano,
Penthouse Pet of the Month for
January 2000) and Zoe Paul,
who was a model for the Hefmag
about a dozen times over the
years. I have sent along
a picture from Nicole's
Penthouse feature. She
wound up posing for many
magazines and websites; if you
Google her name you will find
she even did some hardcore
work for a fetish site or
two. The other veteran
is Brandy Miller; she sheds
her clothes most often in this
video, as she was wont to do
in several straight to video
releases in the late
1990's. And then there
Karen Chasen, a real cutie,
and Laurel Dunne (who has the
look and after-market
equipment of a stripper) are
one-time wonders who complete
the quintet. All but
Laurel appear in nekkid scenes
during the video; then in the
bonus features are separate
photoshoots for each of the
five and finally the longest
scene by far (some ten
minutes) has all five of them
posing together. In that
prolonged photoshoot you come
to appreciate just how good
Zoe Paul was at her job.
She makes the camera love her.
Along the way, playing women
who pose for the website, are
the following: 1) veteran B
movie star, Susan Hale; 2)
One-time wonder, who calls
herself Alice Inchains, and
does two lesbian scenes with
Brandy Miller; 3) Two models
credited as Andrea Kovacs and
Karry Brown. They are credited
as "nearly nude models" or
some such but Andrea gives us
a fine view of the holiest of
holies and the adjacent
territory. Funny and
confusing thing about Andrea
is she is a pornstar who
performed with the name,
Allyson Chaines; so this movie
has two women who did or would
use the same semi-clever nom
de porn; 4) A whole lotta
unnamed women who were
interviewed or posed at some
time during the video.
One of them is recognizable as
Katie Lohmann - she would go
on to be Hefmate of the month
for April 2001. The others are
unknown to me, although one
(who I labeled model 1) is
gorgeous. IMDB also
tells us that scream queen
Victoria De Mare is somewhere
in this movie ...
this woman ...
but I'll be darned if I could
find her. Finally, two
anonymous strippers shed their
clothes.
That's the sum total of the
bare breasts and bums (and a
very occasional full-frontal)
in this Lawrence of Arabia of
soft-core porn website
mockumentaries. The
producers aimed for a special
target and hit it dead in the
center.
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Umbrella
Woman
(1987)
Another
Aussie classic:
The
Umbrella Woman is a 1987
melodrama about a loving
couple who's marriage is
about to go through hell
in the 1930s. Marge
(Rachel Ward) aka The
Umbrella Woman is a
local midwife and Sonny
(Bryan Brown), a
lumberjack, are very
much in love with each
other, but then Sonny
brings his troubled
brother Sugar (Steven
Vidler) into their home.
Sugar takes a shine to
Marge and she sees this
and cheekily suggest
that they have sex,
which Sonny allows.
After an incident where
Sugar blurts out that
he's seen Marge naked,
word starts to get
around about the three.
Then new barkeep Neville
(Sam Neill), a furious
womaniser, arrives and
spies Marge and attempts
to get with her, she
rejects him and Neville
tells her that's the
only chance she will get
with him. This sets off
Marge, who completely
loses herself and
desperately wants to get
with Neville, who's too
busy getting with other
woman in the town. Marge
then leaves Sonny in one
final desperate attempt
to get Neville, but this
is going to end badly. A
solid if a tad
frustrating melodrama
that is well acted by
the main cast, but Bryan
Brown's character is
such a wuss and I can't
believe the things he
lets Marge do, only to
continually take her
back. Mmm, I'm a bit
mixed about the film to
be honest.
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