Saturday

imps*

2009? 1982?

What the ...?

This is one of the oddest and, I must admit, more intriguing films I've watched lately. It is dated 2009, but stars Keenan Wynn and John Carradine.

"Huh?"

Yeah, that was my reaction, too.

I wasn't able to find out much of the story behind this film, so I have to guess that it was lensed in the early 80s but never released until now. It consists of short sketches which are often raunchy and tasteless, ranging from commercial parodies and fake trailers to short genre spoofs. You older guys may remember that this type of film was fairly popular 20-35 years ago. Between 1974 and 1989 there was The Groove Tube, UHF, Kentucky Fried Movie, Amazon Women on the Moon, and probably some other popular ones which I have forgotten. When the 80s disappeared, the genre seemed to follow suit.

The cast includes many of the popular sitcom and sketch players of that time: Julia Duffy, Linda Blair, Rich Hall, Fred Willard, Deborah Harmon, William Sanderson, JJ Walker, etc. To give you a feel for it, I captured one full skit, which stars Keenan Wynn, Jimmie Walker, and Meadowlark Lemon of the Harlem Globetrotters. (Meadowlark, who usually clowned around, is cast against type as the serious black man who is called in to translate the jive talk of the black astronaut.) The sketch is not really funny at all, and in fact is pretty damned embarrassing to watch, so it gives us an idea of why the film was never released, but it also gives us a marvelous new look at a very different time, when our racial sensitivities may have been somewhat less refined.

OK, a LOT less.

I had a good time watching this movie, not because it is good, but because it is always quite interesting to see unreleased material from a quarter of a century ago. A lot of the people in the film were favorites of mine, and all of the people are familiar, so it's fun to see them go back in time to their youth to do new material, even if it is not very funny. It evokes the same feeling you might get if old friends dropped by with some high school films you had never seen before.

The film includes three nude scenes I had never seen, starring three women who were semi-famous in the era. Like the humor, the cinematic sexual mores of the time were different from today's, once again reminding me why I often miss the 80s.

Marilyn Chambers appears in a see-through top, surrounded by other men and women who are naked, in a parody of a familiar American Express commercial, "Do you know me?" Marilyn did quite a good job with her lines, as you'll see in the clip.

Linda Weismeier was a curvy blonde who became Playmate of the Month in 1982, then enjoyed a very brief film career in the 80s.

Lori Wagner is a former Penthouse babe who had two film careers. With her natural body in the late seventies and early 80s, she appeared in a few minor projects and the infamous Caligula with Malcolm McDowell. Quite a bit later on, having added a preposterously inflated artificial chest, she worked in porn films. The most famous one was Frankenpenis, which was directed by porn legend Ron Jeremy and starred Bobbit, the guy whose wife chopped off his schwantz. (He got surgically repaired.) Lori still had her natural body in imps*, and looked terrific.

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trainspotting

1996

This film is in the IMDb top 250. Director Danny Boyle's newest film, Slumdog Millionaire, is rated even higher at IMDb, received 86% positive reviews, and may just win this year's Oscar for Best Picture. (I've seen all the contenders, and Slumdog would get my vote with no hesitation. Tremendous script, spectacular cinematography ... and I loved the music. One of the most dazzling films I've ever seen - and I'm not dazzled that easily. I've had mixed feelings about Boyle in the past, but he has now completely won me over.)

Ultra HD film clips, samples beneath

Kelly MacDonald

 

 

 

 

 

 


Jailhouse Girls

Today the Time Machine goes back for a little slice of Ginger Lynn Allen when she was still doing porn. In "Jailhouse Girls" she wound up handcuffed and then forced to give the cop a blow job before he really used his tool on her. Caps and a film clip.

Not great quality, but then again nothing was back then.
 

 

"The View"

 Over in TV Land Bridget Regan visits "The View" and puts on a major leg & thigh show.

 
 


 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

My Boss's Daughter

2003

the former Mrs. Rodman

 

Gotcha

1985

Christie Claridge

 

The Naked Truth

1992

Courtney Gibbs

 

 

 

 

 

 

Arrancame La Vida

2008 (Mexico)

Rated 8.2 at IMDb!!

Ana-Claudia Talencon film clips.  Monstrous download. Collages below.

This was not nominated for best nude performance of 2008, but I'll remember to get it into next year's nominees.

 

 

Lagrimas Negras

1998

Ariadna Gil film clips.  Collages below.

 

Elena Anaya film clips.  Collages below.

 

 

Alatriste

2006

Elena Anaya film clips.  Collages below.

 

 

Te Doy Mis Ojas

2003

Laia Marull film clips.  Collages below.

 

 

Casi Divas

Another 2008 film from Mexico

Patricia Llaca film clips.  Collages below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pics

 

Kate Bosworth see-through. Slightly bigger, but not really better than the previous version.

Lori-Dawn Messuri in Towelhead

Irina Voronina in Towelhead

 

Film Clips

Ava Cadell in Spaced Out (samples right)

Eva Mendes in The Spirit. Based on the reviews, Eva's butt is the only thing worth seeing in this film. Sorry, cam quality.