El Vecino

s1e9, 1080hd

Clara Lago


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1979, 1920x800

Bo Derek

Dee Wallace-Stone

Constance Money

Annette Haven

Dorothy LeMay and Serena Blanquelord (aka "Serena")

Scoop's notes:

"What is this? 10 ... 9 ... 8... 7... 6... "

"Bo Derek aging"

Bo likes to tell that joke on herself. She turned 63 last year, and the film turned 40. I can't tell you whether Bo is actually down to a 6 or lower these days, but I sat next to her on a flight from Miami to Lima in 1996 or 1997, some twenty years after this film was released, and she was still at least a nine. She was 40 then, but her waist was still extraordinarily tiny, and she still turned every head when she walked by. And not because she was familiar. I guarantee you that the first reaction she inspired was "That woman is gorgeous." The second was "By God - no wonder she looks so good. That's Bo Derek."

I know this for sure because of something that happened the next morning in my hotel. I was chatting and sipping coffee with the guys from Mobil Peru while we waited for our ride. Bo, who must have been staying at the same hotel, slipped past me, touched my hand and said, "Morning, Greg." The Mobil guys reacted exactly as I described above. At first they wondered how I knew such a beautiful woman in a city I had never visited before. Then, when they saw crowds gather around her, they realized it was Bo Freakin' Derek.

I told those guys absolutely nothing about how I knew her. It was my only play. If I let on like I really knew her well, they would have thought I was totally full of it, which is not really a good way for a consultant to start a relationship with a new client. If I told them the truth, I would have looked like a schmuck. "So, you sat next to her for six hours on the plane, and made no effort at all to hook up later, or even to get to know her?" The truth is that I introduced myself, passed a few pleasantries, then left her to her privacy while I watched movies and did crossword puzzles. I didn't even know she was staying at the same hotel. So, yeah, of course I AM a schmuck, but once again this is not something I want a client to know. So when they said, "That's Bo Derek," I said "Yeah," shrugged my shoulders, and immediately asked them a business question which required a detailed explanation.

That approach worked. By the end of the visit they were calling me "Marques", short for "El marques de los grifos." "Grifos" is a uniquely Peruvian slang term. (I think it's unique. I've never encountered it elsewhere.) In Peru it means "gas station" or "gas stations" (the singular and plural are the same, like "tocadiscos"). That referred to my profession, so I was literally the Marquis of the Gas Stations. In proper Spanish, however, the word simply means "nozzles" or "faucets," and obviously can carry a certain suggestive connotation. I was the guy casual about his relationship with Bo Derek, therefore the Big Nozzle!

It was very kind of Bo to recognize me as she did!

Anyway, about the movie:

Dudley Moore's humor seems archaic now and the entire film seems dated, but I still kinda like "10," and always have. Most guys over 40 do, because it's a niche film about getting to middle age, and thus has a tightly defined target audience. Men like it more than women. Older men like it more than younger men. Americans like it more than others. It's only rated 6.1 at IMDb, but if you are a 45+ year old American man, it is probably a good bet. Even if you fit the pattern, you should realize that this film is the cinematic equivalent of what the Dudley Moore character writes for a living - elevator music. 10 is pleasant, inoffensive, and unchallenging. It has some gentle laughs, mellow tunes, and sexy women. Above all, it made Bo Derek a star and gave her A-list recognition throughout the world, including Peru.

Tuna, my former Fun House colleague, had some interesting observations:

"The story of the party guests has proven to be perhaps more interesting than the film itself. Director Blake Edwards hired porn superstars for the orgy scenes figuring that they would be comfortable with the nudity. They were all put up in a hotel suite, and the party was so wild that their room service was cut off. At one point, Edwards directed one of the male stars to get up, meaning to get out of the chair he was in. The star misunderstood what was supposed to be up, and started spanking his monkey on set. When Dudley Moore related this story during a Playboy interview, his girlfriend, who was off camera, nearly stopped the interview she laughed so hard.

Thanks to Celebrity Sleuth and many Funhouse members, nearly all have been identified. Interesting to me was the fact that so many people recognized exactly one of the women, because that one was a personal favorite. And no two people had the same favorite! The list reads like a Who's Who of porn:

Here are the stars:

Constance Money (real name Susan Jensen), star of the classic "The Opening of Misty Beethoven."

Annette Haven, a former nurses aide, who had one of the prettiest faces in porn. She refused to do facials.

Dorothy LeMay

Serena Blacquelord, usually billed as Serena

Candida Royale, who started Femme, a studio devoted to producing films  women would enjoy, too. My favorite of the titles she released is called "Three Daughters." I read an interview where she said she had several more films in the cans, but there was no way to make a profit releasing them. When porn made the transition from film and adult theater releases to video, the gross per film was much lower, and the economics of creating a video version of her 35 mm films just did not make sense. This same change from film and theaters ended the golden age of porn, when it looked like porn and mainstream films might get close enough together to join hands."

"Spin City"

Spin City is a comedy series set in the local government of New York City. It went for 145 episodes over 6 seasons. Michael J. Fox starred in the first four seasons, replaced by Charlie Sheen for the last two. From the FH point-of-view, there is no nudity but there are some lovely, sexy women and sometimes they were partially dressed.

Season 2 Episode 11 They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1997)

Alyssa Milano

This set has a theme: slow pans

Brainscan's comments follow.

American Gigolo


A montage of a slow pan over Lauren Hutton's upper half in American Gigolo.  She was wonderful.

Miracle Beach


The Wendy Kaye pics from Miracle Beach ...

The Happy Hooker Goes to Hollywood


... and those of Martine Beswick from Happy Hooker Goes to Hollywood were also pieced together from slow, up-close pans across fertile landscape.

Related pics:

Alison Armitage joins Wendy Kaye in Miracle Beach

Tanya Boyd in The Happy Hooker Goes to Hollywood


2018, 1080hd

Johnny's comments:

Harmony is a fantasy thriller where a nurse notices that an abandoned baby at a hospital attracts the other babies in the ward and seems to have magical powers. She decides to take the infant girl home and bring her up. 21 years later, Harmony (Jessica Falkholt) is all grown up and has the power to take the fear from people so that they can go on living. It comes at a physical cost which she can wash away with water but not without great pain. One night, she comes across Beth (Jacqueline McKenzie) in an alley about to kill herself and Harmony arrives just in time to remove her fear about a car accident she was involved in and Beth thanks her and gives her business card telling her to call her any time she needs help. Meanwhile, a gang of goons headed by Jimmy (Eamon Farren) find Harmony's place after her experience with Beth and they trash her place although the stuttering outsider of the gang, Ryan (Hayden Maher), shelters her from being found by the other gang members. Harmony seeks Beth's help and goes to her house and is met by her son Mason (Jerome Meyer), an enigma of sorts who is strangely attracted to Harmony and can feel her force. The next day, Mason tracks down Harmony and convinces her to come with him and have some fun experiences. They click but there's something that is bothering Mason greatly, possibly the car accident that Beth obsessed over, that causes him great harm and is on the verge of killing him. Jimmy and his gang have tracked down Harmony, and Jimmy wants to destroy her. Can Harmony save Mason and find a way to defeat Jimmy?

A confusing mess of a movie that has big plans, It seems to be a part of a 5-part series which may not continue since the lead actress died tragically in an auto accident at age 29 - it was huge news in Australia at the time. There are many strings of the plot that occur throughout the movie, then don't come to anything. Harmony's abilities seem to change from time to time, and she seems to have more superpowers than just removing fear. It makes me wonder if there's anything she can't do. She removes Ryan's stutter and makes Jimmy's goons see demons that blow their minds. Also, her greater mission is undefined and the villain of the movie is just as undefined. He just likes doing bad shit for the hell of it. And that's before we get to Mason, who's such an enigma that he wants to find the answers to all the world's big questions, but that quest is abandoned when he meets Harmony.

There's a good solid movie somewhere within this movie, but as it is, Harmony is an undefined mess, which is a shame.

Jessica Falkholt film clip (sample below)


Status Pending

2018, 1080hd

Johnny's comments:

Status Pending is a low budget slice-of-life movie from New Zealand in which Lizzie (Ivana Palezevic) and her American boyfriend Ryan (Ben Zolno) have got the sharehouse they live in to themselves for the weekend and decide to have a little fun in their own terms. Lizzie also wants to go on a worldwide trip by herself and there are limited spaces available but it costs $10,000 which is money she doesn't have. Over the weekend they talk about their relationship, mainly in regards to Facebook and where they are at and whether Lizzie should go on the trip and how she will get the money. They also complete a series of activities to wile away the time, some of which are sexual including an interlude with Lizzie's friend Angie (Harriet Prebble). Will Lizzie get to go on her trip and will their relationship survive the separation?

Not much to this movie, mostly just a bunch of talking and a lot of Facebook activity, barely interesting of itself but the two leads seem to be having fun in between the talking sessions. The movie is clearly limited but it makes a go of it and isn't all that boring, it's just not that interesting either.

Ivana Palezevic film clip (sample below)

Florence Pugh in Lady Macbeth (2016) in 1080hd

Dua Lipa

Nicole Scherzinger

Sarah Hyland

Shay Mitchell