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Happy New Year
Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Happy New Year to everyone. I'm
leading off and writing the page today while Junior parties in the new year with
Cruise and Cruz.
We've welcomed a bunch of years now as
your sensible holiday alternative to bowl games and family pinochle tournaments.
The First New Year's Edition was published on Jan 1, 1996, so I guess this is
the seventh time we've said Happy New Year to some of you. Those pages just keep
falling off the calendar, like in those old B&W movies.
thanks to all our contributors, from the guys who have read most of those seven
editions, like Donbun and Helcrom and RDO, to the new guys like Hankster and
Tomkru. Because all of you guys have such interesting variations on our common
interest, the page manages to encompass a wide range of material and keeps us
and I manage to go through just about every DVD every week, except the
children's releases. Oz and Spaz and Nicnac seem to have gone through every
video tape ever recorded, privately or publicly. Scorpion, Helcrom, Hankster,
and others seem to blanket the titty channels and the offbeat b-material. Tomkru
and ICMS and C2000 and UC99 and others keep an eye on the European and British
scene. Brainscan, of course, has seen every magazine ever published, while
Blackshine and Zenguru must know more about models than the entire Ford agency
Our resident cultural gurus, Celebrity Sleuth and
Pat Reeder of the Comedy Wire, keep us abreast of breasts in the news.
enjoy every bit of it, just as much as ever, and want to thank all of you and
any others whose names I forgot.
covering the page for Junior, I only finished one little update - updated volume: Sylvia
Rowing Through (1996) was covered
by Scoopy the week it was released, and his review, as is often the case, is
one I agree
with. The crime in this film was that the DVD transfer wasn't better, as it was
Most genres have formulas, for instance, we have the boy meets girl, boy
looses girl, boy finds girl Hollywood love formula, the boy meets girl, boy
loses girl, such is life French love story, the athlete shows promise, athlete
suffers possibly career ending injury, athlete becomes superstar formula, and
the athlete becomes successful, athlete turns into an asshole, athlete becomes a
human being again formula.
The strength of Rowing Through, to me, was that it did not follow the
formula. Rather, it was a true story about real athletes, the amazing amount of
dedication they have, and more agony of defeat than thrill of victory. Formula
pictures exist because the general public understands them, and doesn't get
lost. When you step outside the formula, you are running a risk. I admire the
film makers for taking a story about athletes in a minor sport, and presenting
their lives in a very realistic manner.
The only question remaining is whether or not the characters are interesting
enough to be entertaining, and for me, they were.
To recap the nudity, Helen Shaver shows breasts and partial bush, and Leslie
Hope shows everything. The film will not appeal to action oriented viewers, and
is properly rated a C, but I will personally order a remastered DVD if it is
(Scoop says: me, too. I'd wish I had a good quality DVD.
The film is nicely photographed, but the fuzzy, fullscreen DVD did it no
"Women on the Verge
of a Nervous Breakdown"
Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (1988) is a comedy written and
directed by noted filmaker Pedro Almodóvar. This is considered one of his
better films, and was nominated for an Oscar for Best Foreign Language
film. It is rated 7.6 of 10 at IMDB, and Apollo gives 68. For me, the film never
reached the level of funny. It was, however, beautifully shot, and well acted.
It had more the feel of a stage play than a film, with very large characters,
and not much action.
It is the story of several women wronged mostly by men, and in varying degrees
of despair. Carmen Maura stars as an actress who has been living with her
married co-star, who is now leaving her. Before the story is over, we meet his
son and his fiancee, Maura's best friend who is in trouble with the police after
an affair with terrorists, the insane wife, and the wife's
feminist attorney who is the reason Maura is being dumped. Maura shows most of
both breasts in a mostly transparent undergarment. The DVD is a very good
transfer, and gives you a choice of subtitles and dubs in several languages. It
is an ok foreign comedy, hence a C.
- Carmen Maura
pictures and comments from
Dear Scoopy !
First of all I want to wish you, Jr., Tuna and all the Fun House readers a happy New Year. May the new year be one full of celeb nudity (female celebs of course) to delight us all.
So I'll begin 2002 with two Italian movies imported from the US starring Giancarlo Giannini. Giancarlo was the Florentine police inspector in "Hannibal" who ended up totally gutless. It's director Ridley Scott who drew my attention to him during his commentary on that film. I found two films directed by Lina Wertmüller on DVD with him that looked interesting to me.
The first one is "Mimí metallurgico ferito nell'onore" from 1972 that was nominated for a Golden Palm at the Cannes Film Festival. The English title is "The seduction of Mimi", which is a bad title. It makes you think that Mimi is a woman who gets seduced. In reality Mimí is a man, a metalworker,
in Sicily and it's all about his honor. Mimí is practically forced to leave Sicily after he voted in a "secret" ballot for the Communist Party, something the local mafia doesn't appreciate. His prudish wife remains behind on the island while he goes to the big factories in Turin. There he meets a woman who is a militant for the Communist Party with whom he will have a child. Destiny has it that he (and his mistress and their child) is to return to Sicily as a foreman in huge factory causing him to forget his communist ideals. When he finds out that his wife, played by
Agostina Belli, who stayed behind is pregnant by some goofy police sergeant, his honor is at stake of course. So what does he do ? He courts the sergeant's ugly and fat wife
(Elena Fiore) and makes her pregnant as well. Finally everything is revealed and things don't turn out very well for Mimí.
The film is always lighthearted and tongue-in-cheek and points out the hypocrisy of the so-called "honor" of some southern men. Warning : do not download the Elena
Fiore collage if you had too much to drink last night : you could start throwing up again.
The second film, "Swept away" or "Travolti da un insolito destino nell'azzurro mare d'agosto" (1974), is also one with a lot of tongue-in-cheek but this time it's more violent. It deals with the opposition between capitalism and communism.
Mariangela Melato is rich woman on a yacht who is always complaining and biting her servants' heads off. One day she goes with a servant in small boat to explore something, but their boat's engine breaks down and they end up on a small uninhabited island. And now the situation is reversed. The rich woman is unable to survive there on her own and the servant, who does know how to survive, becomes the master and humiliates his boss in every way possible in exchange for his help. You could see the two main characters in this film, the rich and
good-looking Melato and the rude and unpolished Giannini, as a metaphor for capitalism and communism. At first capitalism is depicted as cruel and brutal, but once communism takes over, it's exactly the same or even more brutal, since Giannini hits Melato, something she never did with him when she was the boss. And there's also a moment where the Giannini character lashes out at religion and Coca-Cola (see the two quick
snaps - 1, 2). In the end they are rescued and things go back to normal, or
These two movies certainly aren't mainstream movies intended at a large audience, but I found myself enjoying them a great deal. Not many people have voted for them in the IMDb but those who did rated the first movie at a respectable 8.0 and the second one stands at 7.4 which isn't bad either. It's a pity they don't have a little bit more nudity in them by Agostina Belli and Mariangela Melato and less by Elena Ricci.
This concludes my first contribution for the year 2002. Once again my best wishes to you and everyone dear to you.
Yours faithfully, ICMS
from Snowblind, Scoop's words
Pornstar Devon demonstrates things
every woman should know, at least according to the honchos at The Man Show
I missed this incredible upskirt of Tori
Spelling when I looked at Scary Movie 2, but Snowblind was on the job!
The other stars of Scary
Movie 2 in their underwear, with a minor-see-through look at Anna Faris'
A quick snap of Kira Reed in
The scene of the year, one more time. Halle
Berry in Swordfish
pics and comments from
Scoop - Babes in Bondage and this one is really from the vault of obscurity. You won't even find it in the IMDB. Amber Lee in "Mysterious Jane". Poor Amber spend most of the movie tied up in a nut house where her husband has put her to get rid of her.
She escapes once only to be recaptured. The poor girl is raped, whipped and tormented in most every way possible.
Happy New Year To All
and pictures from Brainscan
|Christmas in a cabin on Lake Huron. No modem, one tv, one channel. But I
had my laptop and here are the fruits of late night labors.
A theme for today is beauty queens... nekkid beauty queens. Let's start
with a bunch of paparazzi pics of those who have worn the crown of Miss
Italy. We have Anna Valle, Arianna David and Gloria Zanin. The Anna Valle
pics look way too good to be real paparazzi shots, which are usually grainy,
distant and out of focus. But Anna is a first-class wonder of nature with a
body that cannot be beat. Mind you, Arianna and Gloria are no dogs.
Other Miss Italy's in a posing kind of mood are Elenora Benfatto ...
... and Manila Nazarro (the 2000 vintage Miss Italy).
|Okay, let's wander north from Italy, way north to Norway, where we encounter
Julie Ege, a Miss Norway of 1960's vintage. Ms. Ege was an actress of some
repute; IMDB says she started her career in a Norwegian movie, had a bit
part in the Bond film On Her Majesty's Secret Service and then did a bunch
of horror/scifi movies from the Hammer Studios, including The Creatures That
Time Forgot (ergo the cavewoman get-up in the first scan). Seems she
continues to show up on Norwegian TV.
Much more obscure is Susan Leon, who advertises herself as Miss Peru,
apparently a Miss World contestant some years ago. Ms. Leon has put out a
calendar every year for the past half-dozen years, and has tended to wear
less clothing each succeeding year.
|From the good ol' US of A comes Alex Taylor (aka Andrea
Molinari). I pulled
the first scan off the web. It confirms what I had read elsewhere, that Alex
was a former Miss New Hampshire, stripped of her title when it was
discovered she was had stripped of her clothes on a professional basis.
Sooo, the good people of New Hampshire decided what she did prior to the
contest was their business, not hers. Tis an interesting interpretation of
"Live Free or Die." Anywho, the first scan also claims that Alex got hit on
by Tiger Woods but that she would have nothing to do with him. Sheee-it,
and here I figured Tiger would be able to get into any woman's pants. Well,
relevant to things immediate, Alex was Penthouse Pet of the Month Aug 1994.
PETScan was busy so I did the honors of scanning her pics. The guys who
surf the web will recognize the scan labeled 17t: it is often passed off as
a scan of Senta Berger. Ms. Berger should be so lucky as to own a caboose
Maria Conchita Alonso
Maria Conchita Alonso
|Vidcaps also feature a couple of national beauty queens (if you count local
and state contests, just about every actress except Camryn Mannheim can
claim to be a beauty queen). First up are Tuna caps of Deborah Shelton,
former Miss USA, in Circuitry Man II (the first three caps) and in
Bllodtide. Tuna's caps of CM II show off Ms. Shelton's el primo hooters
perfectly. In fact, allow me to sing the praises of the fish boy and of the
many other cappers who send their stuff into the Funhouse: their caps have
gotten so good that they surpass the scans sent in only a couple of years
ago. Gotta love this digital revolution.
Last up is former Miss Teenage USA, Maria Conchita Alonso, in two versions
of the movie, Blackheart. The first is from Tuna, the second from the Big
Kahuna, himself, JohnnyWeb. Again, these caps look like someone with a
digital camera was standing two feet from MCA while she did the
sport-humpin' routine (with a slip on, no less).
Two matters arising:
Missed voting for the nude scene of the year; woulda gone with Darryl Hannah
in the Iguana movie. Here we had a name actress, after whom I have lusted
since watching Summer Lovers at the age of 14, getting rid of the clothes
whilst playing a stripper!!! Damn long scene at that. Santa, you did get
To Scoopy's Sr. and Jr, to the artists who fill the Funhouse every day, and
to the readers of the best site on the web: Happy New Year, Prospero Año and
all that good stuff for 2002.
Another look at Deborah
Foreman's one and only nude scene.|
Carlsson in My Life as a Dog.
in Teenage Bonnie and Klepto Clyde
in Teenage Bonnie and Klepto Clyde
in Halcyon Days